Software Humor

Software Humor

The following is a small collection of remarks that I overheard over the last several years. Tis all true, names have been omitted to protect the guilty. Maybe not all of them are very funny, but I think that at least a few of them are hilarious. Some degree of geekiness is probably required to appreciate it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

On C++

Developer 1 (who has just learned C++): "This C++ stuff is not so bad, I think".
Developer 2: "Hmm, you think so?"
Developer 1: "Well, at least it's better than C."
Developer 2: "That's like comparing herpes to the bubonic plague."

Everybody loves C

Team Leader: "The guy who invented the pointer notation in C should be taken out and shot at dawn."
Developer: "Why wait until dawn?"

Internal Presentation for the Team

(Team members are somewhat confused by the slides prepared by the project manager, and are asking nasty questions about the content)
Project Manager, somewhat annoyed: "Pay no attention to what is written there, just focus on what was meant."

Project in trouble 1

(During a weekly team meeting)
Developer 1: "I propose we rename this project, and call it 'Titanic' from now on."
(mild laughter)
Project Manager, irritated: "What do you mean by that? Do you think this project is not managed properly? Do you think we will be late?"
Developer 2: Don't worry, we'll hit the iceberg on time."

Project in trouble 2

(Project Manager walks into developer's office, five geeks are hard at work)
Project Manager: "How is it going? Do you think we will be able to meet our deadline?"
Developer: "Well, let me put it this way: how quickly can you learn Java?"

Product Redevelopment

(Software team has just gotten authorization to redevelop the main product)
Development Manager: "The new version needs a nice installation program. The old version did not come with that."
Developer: "That's right, it came with a small army of support engineers."

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